Cell Block Tango

Cell Block Tango is a song sung by the New Directions Girls and The Troubletones (without Rachel). It is featured in Mash Time. The original song is from the musical Chicago. It might be the equivalent of America, which was sung in the Glee episode "The First Time" one of two episodes this spoof was based on.

Lyrics
Sugar: Pop Quinn: Six Mercedes: Squish Brittany: Uh uh Santana: Cicero Tina: Lipschitz! (x6)

Artie: And now the six merry murderesses of the McKinley Hi Jail in their rendition of "The Cell Block Tango"

All: He had it coming He had it coming He only had himself to blame If you'd have been there If you'd have seen it

Santana: I betcha you would have done the same!

Sugar: Pop Quinn: Six Mercedes: Squish Brittany: Uh uh Santana: Cicero Tina: Lipschitz! (x2)

'''Sugar (Spoken): '''You know I'm kind of a celebrity known for my voice. I'm like, amazing. They call me the Queen of songs. No, not songs. POP. So, I tried out for the New Directions, And I am super confident, and I know I'm gonna nail the audition. And there's Mr. Schue, wearin' a vest, tearin' me down And grinning'. No, not grinnin'.Laughin'! So, I said to him, I said, "You better let me in to this glee club..." And he didn't.So I did what I always do best, And I simply let loose some of my... self diagnosed Asperger's.

All: He had it coming He had it coming He only had himself to blame If you'd have been there If you'd have heard it I betcha you would Have done the same!

Quinn (Spoken): I met Noah Puckerman at McKinley Hi about two years ago, and he told me he was a nice guy.He gave me many wine coolers. Next I know I'm pregnant. He'd be with me, I'd lie to Finn, it was all a part of, my amazing scheme.And then I found out, "Sexting" he told me? Sexting, my ass. Not only was he with me ... oh, no, he had six girls. Never trust a boy with a Mohawk. So two years later, after our trip to New York, I looked him straight in the eyes, with hate. Found out he couldn't handle big plans.

All: He had it coming He had it coming He took a flower In its prime And then he used it And he abused it It was a murder But not a crime!

Mercedes (Spoken): Now, I'm standing in the kitchen, Cookin' up some tots for dinner, Minding my own business, In storms my boyfriend Shane, In a jealous rage. "You love those tots more," He says. He was crazy And he kept on screamin', "those things don't even taste good!" And then I turned to him and said. No one messes with my tater tots.

All: If you'd have been there If you'd have seen it I betcha you would have done the same!

Brittany: Unicorn x alot

Rachel (Spoken): Brittany, that's not the word you're supposed to sa--

Brittany: UH UH, uni-corn!

Santana (Spoken): There's a place I go called Breadsticks. A new waiter, Charlie, started working there. Now, for the last couple of years, I'd order 20 buckets of stix in a row One, two, three, four, five... it's on the menu, Lopez special. Salt 't then eat 'em, one right after the other. So this one night as I walked past Breadsticks on the street called Cicero, I was textin', pushin' around a few nerds, a typical night then I became hungry. I made a turn, open the door, and there's the new waiter Charlie giving some random customer the Lopez Special.See, that special's only for me, Everyone knows this. I've told him several times. So I lost it, I went Lima Heights Adjacent on the entire Breadsticks staff.

Santana: They had it coming Girls: They had it coming Santana: They had it coming Girls: They had it coming Santana: They had it coming all along Girls: They had it coming all along Santana: I didn't do it Girls: She didn't do it Santana: But if I done it Girls: But if she'd done it Santana: How could you tell me that I was wrong?

Santana: They had it coming Girls: They had it coming Santana: They had it coming Girls: They had it coming Santana: They had it coming all along Girls: They took a flower in its prime Santana: I didn't do it Girls: And then they used it Santana: But if I'd done it, Girls: And they abused it Santana: How could you tell me that I was wrong? Girls: It was a murder but not a crime

Tina (Spoken): I loved Mike Chang More than I can possibly say. He was a real amazing dancer... Sensitive... an Asian. But then I noticed he'd got more screen time. Sure I got more lines and felt appreciated but he got parents, a storyline, development and depth. We know more about him than we do me. The only way I could shine Was if he were dead.